Yesterday I had a very long phone chat…Quite long…
She is a mentally-strong, optimistic, nice person. But …
Time is ticking and tocking away…
Time is precious… And haha, I have wasted most of my time away. Being overly obsessed with korean dramas or kpop is not doing me any good. I am really hooked to these korean shows ….
Early this morning. I woke up crying… I had a nightmare… Again. But this time I felt so wronged, so accused and the loss of a friend made me feel very sad… So not going to say who she is…
As usual, part of my daily “routine”, I woke up early, washed up and went to the park…Did some exercise
And yada yada yada.
Whenever I see something, just anything, I talked to myself in my mind. It’s true that we humans do talk to ourselves, I mean in our minds.
Went to the market to have breakfast. Then, there is this disabled person, with a leg missing that played the flute… What I felt at that moment- respect for that person. If I ever visualize myself with a leg or a hand missing, I don’t think I will have the courage to face the outside world. To live on despite being handicapped is indeed a courageous act. They threw away their pride and went around to collect money from the kind souls. Then there is this moment whereby I think the man went to approach this uncle who was in a bad mood . The uncle shouted across the coffee shop and I think was scolding the man… Gracious people? We don’t have much people that are gracious here.
I went to bathe and only came back to notice that there is a missed call… Great, I miss this chance, this opportunity to get a job… I really, desperately wants one to get the experience but seems like I was too unlucky… Just so unlucky …
*Cross Fingers *
Christmas is coming~ Santa is coming~ Jingle Bells are going to ring~ Frosty is coming!
Season of giving, a season of love… Who don’t love christmas?
Feeling really helpless… Nothing I can do… Nothing I can think of to do…
So let me pretend not to know … Let me pretend to be ignorant…
It’s sad to know that maybe people are smiling right in front of you, yet, their heart, their mind, soul just seems to be having this … sadness… It must have been painful for them…
O levels are over… A few months ago, I have been anticipating, I have been looking forward to this day… But now, this period I have always been looking forward to is … a period where I feel…It’s indescribable.
I am feeling paranoid… I have nightmares of me failing HCL, not doing well enough for my Os… For the past two years, I have put in a considerable amount of effort in my studies, I have indeed, spent time studying and studying. My parents witnessed me putting in lots of effort, my siblings do sense that I have put in a lot of hard work… But it’s not enough for me to get good results… It’s maybe a mistake to be greedy, to choose nine subjects and then regretting it, because I felt I could barely survive…I know myself better than anyone else… I CMI in my languages… My english and HCL… Sometimes I feel like a big loser… SO what if I have been in contact with these two languages for like more than ten years, I just could not grasp firmly onto it…they just keep slipping… Failing one of languages during prelims… and passing the other by a small margin… You know the fear I felt that time? My L1…The outcome… I always fear that it might end up disappointing my family
Someday…I really hope to see a more mature him… It’s upsetting sometimes… I am not a good sister either… That, I know…
Sometimes you be really good friends with someone… you will somewhat…miss them really a lot when it comes to graduation…
But Life has to go on… Friends forever…Is there really forever?
I am not being pessimistic, but I really don’t believe that there is forever that there is eternity…
It’s been ages since i last updated this wordpress
Months passed..
Nothing much changes…
Mid year is over..
And…I am really sad of the results that I have got…
For my languages especially…
50.5 For HCL and 50%( Not including the compo section A)…
It’s horrible..
And so I asked myself…So all these years, speaking my own mother tongue, has it make a difference…One thing for sure, it’s just really weak… Weak foundations…
I am not saying I am real good at english…For years, or rather since I learnt english, I never surpass that grade I have always been wanting to have…
And so, the teachers will always say : Read more storybooks, newspapers, and listen to more news
I did read, more than I used to and so I did pass my english, the very least…
My brain…it’s weird how it choose to remember certain things….What a selective brain I have… Selecting things to remember and it’s , most of the times, those unimportant things…
All Bs and Cs … Sigh…what else could i ask for…
Class outing last friday…
The few of us gathered together to go to Vivo to catch Angels and Demons …
It’s a nice movie…really thrilling, tense and exciting…A bit gruesome though… Gore
So these are the few that turned up for the class outing:
Chi
Coco
Shahirah
weiling
maisarah
huiying
pearlyn
nani
zhiyong
cedric
kaixiang
And of course it’s upsetting for a supposedly class outing that turned out to be like this…With about a quarter of the class here…
It’s just so upsetting …
Last year already..yet some classmates of ours still not yet want to foster that kind of class bonds we ought to have since last year…
people see us as a class of nerds, and of course we sure are nerds… studying and studying ….it’s really a monotonous kind of life…
It’s sad… to leave a school, to graduate and not knowing your classmates well… Studying is important, but to have an O level certificate together with a class worth to remember is just as important…
I suddenly miss my former classes..they’re so much better than the current one…
It feels as though I don’t know much of my classamtes well..
Is it partly because, we don’t even have a proper class outing ever? Is it because we are just simply nerds?
Nerds do socialize, nerds do have a life…
hais
To those that seriously couldn’t make it, it’s alright and i hope that you could join us one day… but to those that could yet not wanting to come …then whatever la…
Let me talk more about that group outing then..
It’s fun. I enjoyed it very much…
Everyone has a choice, everyone has the right to make a decision
I would not do what you did.
To disappoint your her just because of HER
Your unheard apologies made it pointless.
And it’s a no wonder why I felt that I am actually avoiding, ignoring you.
I am disappointed
Seeing you do this to yourself
What’s the point of sticking to someone when you know it is more of a burden than happiness
I mean, I am sure you have the wisdom to decide what makes a good friend, be bold, not like a coward, do what you think is right. Cause the more you give in, the more that person will demand
TOLONG
DON’T DO THIS TO YOURSELF!
IT”S YOUR LIFE! YOU SHOULD NOT LET ANYONE TAKE OVER IT
This week just sped past.
Cool. Time passes, rather it flies.
A week over like that.
Well, getting yourself occupied, getting yourself doing lots and lots of work really make you feel that time flies
True enough, it really does. Half of the day spent in school
Studying, Listening, Crapping, Laughing. All sorts of activities
It’s tiring, it’s energy-draining, but it goes like a cycle. First you go school and there you get back home, eat, study, sleep, then the next morning, you get to school again it just goes round and round
It’s boring, yes of course
But somehow, I grew used to it.
It’s alright, for there are still friends right?
Yesterday was cross-country
At Chinese and Japanese garden, and once I stepped into the gardens, I think, the scenery there were really awesome.
So while waiting for our turn to run, we were under shelter, crapping, playing,to kill time.
Before the O’ levels come, why not have some fun, some laughter instead, before you can get serious all you want
Finally it’s our turn
And I ran, but I did walk. And that sucks, for 2.9km I couldn’t run the entire distance, but walked for a minute or two, which is bad. And I came in at position 36. T_T
But anyway…
Something irrelevant to yesterday, or maybe it is related…
Well…I’d give in…I’d let you have it… I mean sooner or later, all of us on our separate ways, we might not come together anymore. And sooner or later, you’d get back..
So it isn’t worth it to be a burden. But I’d just let it be the way it’s going to be…Sometimes, not everything could be controlled, not everything is within our control. Cause sometimes, you’d just have to learn to let it go, let it flow, and yes, let it be
Sometimes, I think jerks should all be heavily punished
Sometimes… when you made an effort to speak up… It did not really give the effect that I expected it to be…
I know it is hard… I know it is difficult for her to stand up and to prompt us to ask, prompt us to speak our minds
After Ms Ph— spoke to us, I thought to myself, hey, really what is it that makes us ask, makes us answer, makes us make noise in class when we were in secondary 2. And the older we gets, our lips are hard to open.
Most of the time, I felt tired. Not exactly stress… Well, not feeling that stress yet… But definitely I felt busier than before…
Juggling Homework and temptations all at a time
Who dont want to develop this good teacher-student relationship. It’s weird … There’s of course teachers I so wanted to make “friends’ with, Teachers that I want to understand better. I know it’s hard for her to make the choice to continue in taking up the job, and I felt glad that she did. Well, there’s one of the many things I felt grateful for. She cared for us… Indeed she did. And I am really curious what actually made her even think about quitting her job, ending her career, leaving school and stop teaching…
And I’d try my best…
Sigh…
Anyway, West Zone is over… So going to be over… Sometimes… When you did not panic, they won’t know…
I am extremely glad… Extremely touched…That he actually did not reprimand us… he gave us tips , advice .
Friends…
Sometimes, on the surface, humans appear to look good. Just like water, the surface may be crystal clear. What lies beneath, you got to take a closer look. It’s true colors I would say that they revealed… What do you know about your friend… Other than weaknesses, what else can you say, family background? Ask yourself that. Cause if you can’t answer that, that goes to show, who you regarded as friends are not what I would call friends… I mean… Okay, my point is… Friendships are to be treasured, to be cherished, not to be abandoned. Geez.
Do you care about others? Did you even put yourself in others shoes?
I don’t think you did, cause if you understand, if you know, you would not want the things like these to happen to you.
It’s the little things that makes your friends know that you care for them okay?
Hello, wake up???
—
今天不但是母亲的生日， 今天也是表妹的生日，今天也是哪位姓施，又不要脸的哪位的生日。
祝她们生日快乐！
不要问我为什么要用华文，因为好玩吗！
Spent my day with Allyson and Jacquelyn, forwarding Valentine messages to one another…
It’s a day where everyone says ” I love you’ . So say it!
^^
It’s Jacquelyn’s birthday tomorrow. Advanced happy birthday,kid! =P
—
Really, I felt extremely fortunate…
Compared to them, the problems, the difficulties I faced were seriously nothing. Nothing as compared to theirs
It’s difficult to empathize with her. The current family situation of her, is something I would not face with such optimism
Sometimes, when someone smiles, when someone laughs, there’s more to that.
There’s sadness behind that very smile, that very laughter.
I really feel blessed.
And I thank god
—
有时候，真的好像说出来，但自己却知道那是不可能的。
—-
